It’s Saturday morning. I lay on my bed tired, worn out and mentally strained. No – I haven’t lost my job. I didn’t loose my girl. I am not ill. Guess what – its appalling upshot of a movie. And I am sure I am not alone who endured this movie. It reads ‘Lagaa Chunari Mein daag’ – Sounds like a napkin ad.
Friday night – Where is the beer? Ah – forget it, Weight Considerations! It’s been long since I watched a movie in the theatre. Why not hit the hall with friends and watch a movie and enjoy the evening. Disastrous judgment it turned out to be! Tickets weren’t available for movies which we wanted to watch. Hence, we picked an ‘apparently imposing’ movie on female rights (Apology for twisting the phrase Human Rights). Cool – Once in a time, you got to watch such movies to understand the contemporary psyche of woman. It may help you comprehend their whimsicalities, or otherwise.
Tickets in our pockets, we were in the hall sitting in the front row. Ads went by, and then the much awaited movie begun. A superfluous song to be witnessed at the start and was followed by the grievances of a family headed by spineless old coward. And then emerges our heroine, who has the resolution to become a man, as in, to stand up for her family and support them (And you thought of a sex change Operation – Didn’t ya?). She comes down to the town of opportunities – Mumbai. And, she is manipulated to an extent where she opts to be a prostitute. And the tricky transition is effected by a true friend, who drives her to the hotel even after knowing the consequences. And there is this female who could convince her to become a prostitute in her second meeting – God, she is got to be one good negotiator. Maybe our government could use her for settling issues with its neighbors. And the main catalyst is none other than the mother of our girl. Woh – State of affairs can’t be any pressing.
No brothels, no pimps. All her business runs on the phone. From nowhere she owns a pricy chauffeur driven 4-wheeler. Man – She is affluent now, residing in a plush villa and credit goes to her thriving business. Phew - No wonder, it’s the oldest trade on earth.
In the meantime, her sis comes down after completing her MBA (Now the film industry gets commercially liable). And she breaks the silence of a staff meeting with her bespoke elucidation of how a beauty product is to be portrayed. Man! The books on brand marketing should be buried till we have such glittering brilliance on offer. She impresses her boss and wins a trip of romance somewhere in Italy. Who cares about the beauty product? Let’s romance under the sun, on the beach and drive through the splendid scenic roads. That’s bollywood at its best.
Another character of reverence is a man whose heart is as big as anyone. He accepts our lady wholeheartedly without a smirk on his face as he is fully aware of her trade, but also has the eyes to see the poise in her. Alice and her Wonderland – I need to read it once more to get my hold on this.
Too much of anything isn’t good. And too much of bullshit is definitely not what I look out on a weekend. The ordeal ended with a typical ‘happy ending’. It’s over. It turned out to be a real test of endurance, fortitude and self-control. It takes a lot to be there and watch it. But I made it. I survive. Who cares a rat’s ass about the agonizing journey of a woman?
Lessons learnt:
1. Let others stand the test of any movie before you jump in. Don’t be ‘The guinea pig’. It’s good not to be proactive at times.
2. If you don’t get to watch the movie of your choice, get back home and slouch on the couch. Trust me – It’s the best option.
