Is there a way out? Is it the labyrinth? Or is it a realization that it is? If it is then, is there a way out? Tautology at its best eh! Optimism finds a way always, if not atleast you find hope. Then there is patience and perseverance. How long and far can patience and perseverance help you be optimistic? This magnitude defines you then. Years of sweat and exertion remains the cornerstone for this optimism to last as my father would say. But sometimes, the mind rests not break a sweat. The inertia of inaction or way too much action could make it numb to its cause. But then as history behind us constantly murmurs the optimism. And yes…where there is a will there is always a way. Tomorrow never dies…… Good morning!
Monday, June 18, 2012
Thursday, May 31, 2012
The reset button
There is interest but there is no will. There is an sense of understanding, but an effort to follow-up further is amiss. An intention to set things in order is unpersuasive. There is so much to do and there is so much to learn. Its limitlessness poses the threat and collides heads-on to the progressiveness of thoughts. Truth somewhere somehow pushes the usual motion of keeping the ball rolling –continuing to breathe. Living certainly is something else though. Moments that live are far and few. A melancholy stage undermines every effort and lends to leaning over subtle dangerous distractions. Distractions deny logic for moments and the ground reality sinks in with greater vengeance. The why, the who and the reasons of existence and barrage of lesser prevalent queries results in a fickle minded mundane task oriented state. A state which has a history of better wellbeing that succumbs to the inability to figure out logical explanations to adjust itself to a superior level where there isn’t a cry over routine – A state of tranquility – A search for peace.
Friday, March 30, 2012
Calcutta – The city is out to give me a good laugh…
My previous posts about the city are congruous enough to bring out the charm the city oozes with. The charm doesn’t necessitate being treated like a prince or offering a royal reception when I land here. The charm also lies in the attitude that the city resonates among its residents. That said, what does any City account for without its residents. I was confronted with a couple of episodes that seem worth mentioning.
The first of them occurs no sooner I am in the city. I landed at in the night and I get a pre-paid Taxi booked for myself straight headed to my home in South Calcutta. The prepaid receipt nowadays doesn’t have the taxi number printed, but is just a receipt that can be used in the taxi booth outside where your cab is randomly allocated by a bunch of officials. As I approach the booth with the receipt in my hand, I see this spectacled guy, who walks up to the booth officials asking them to join him for a cuppa. They say no and they give me a Cab number, which I am expected to find from the taxi stand. I get the number and I stroll past this possible cab driver aimlessly looking around for my cab. This specimen then snatches the slip/receipt from me with authority and walks me down the stand and gets me near the my cab, opens the door for me and I get in. Then surprisingly, this looks at me and says ‘Dada thoda teeeepsss dejiye na’ (Give me some tips please). I have this expression of denial as I am perplexed with the audacity behind the ask. I am fortunately physically stable, visually able & I could have easily found my cab in that maze with a little search. I never asked for his assistance and here he is asking for teeeep. That said, He isn’t absolutely wide of the mark in asking a teep as it may be a practice that’s followed for the ‘self proclaimed taxi maze assistance’ that he offered. But the city I know does these favours without requests. I darted back a rude reply and asked the taxi driver to move on. Harsh I may have been, but I wasn’t ready to change my city. And for all my efforts, the city might have already changed. And so much for the charm.
I went doing errands at my place and one of them was to play the telephone bill at the post office. The telephone bill amounted to Rs 475. What would be the natural denomination that you would present? I figured it would be 500 rupee note. I presented the same to the cashier for the paying the bill. And here I was hearing a mouthful from him about the fact that he had paid ‘change’ to five people before me as they didn’t tender the exact amount. For a moment I was about to resist and give it back to him. But then I realized that it is needless to pull up an argument with a low-life as I don’t think I would ever meet him again in this goddamn world. I had a grin on my face for the rest of the harangue he offered about the lack of common sense in me. And I had a good laugh at it in my walk back at home.
When Life flashes by in seconds:
Humans have a very long life…very long…Its so long that we fail to respect the good part of it. When a movie is too long to watch, the good part of it gets lost amidst everything. Its something like that. In my close to 3 decades of existence I have also seen the good, the bad & the ugly in relative terms like each one us. But never before have I ever thought of life in human terms as much as I did today; And it didn’t come without a reason. My dad got hospitalized for certain health reasons and they stay a good 2K kms away from me. And when my mom related this to me over the phone explaining the fact that he is not responding to her calls and seems to slipped into some kind of a perpetual slumber, I could feel my knees weaken. I have never heard or seen any of my close ones get into an exigency like this before…Never. With my grand-pops and grand-mom passing away peaceful at a ripe age (Octogenarians), it never hit me that death or loss of your own kind could happen sooner. Never ever have I been brought this close to notice the fact that loss of life could happen. Life lost is life lost. There is no way on God’s green earth that you could ever see them again. Its such a loss.
For a brief period, I was stoned and paralyzed. But somewhere in some corner of my heart, there were this strong feeling that I cannot loose my father now. I cannot. It kept reverberating in my ears for a while and some strange optimism crept in. And my man did survive. The few seconds between my mum stating the news and the inherent sanguinity, I could see my whole life transpiring in front of me. Life did flash by with the memories of my father around me. A man who has supported and guided me in almost every facet of my life is out there in all almost life threatening situation. I just had to see him again. Life being long, can seem very short sometime eh!
For a brief period, I was stoned and paralyzed. But somewhere in some corner of my heart, there were this strong feeling that I cannot loose my father now. I cannot. It kept reverberating in my ears for a while and some strange optimism crept in. And my man did survive. The few seconds between my mum stating the news and the inherent sanguinity, I could see my whole life transpiring in front of me. Life did flash by with the memories of my father around me. A man who has supported and guided me in almost every facet of my life is out there in all almost life threatening situation. I just had to see him again. Life being long, can seem very short sometime eh!
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
2011 synopsis...
I wanted to put in what had changed in 2011 in comparison to the previous years. But there isn't much that I could think off as of now.
There is something that is become clear to me. My ability to write blogs seems to be eroding as I am not able to use the right words to convey the message crisp and short. The last sentence had 29 words - speaks for itself. Blame it on my vaporization from the blogging world for almost half an year. And I also believed the writing and speaking are separate arts which do convolute at times. But what I am discovering is I am just writing my mind here rather presenting a thought in a manner that appeals better to the reader.
Ok – Let me give this a shot and see how long the list goes.
1) Had our first official school get together. IT WAS FUN.
2) Went for a expensive vacation for the first time. IT WAS FUN TOO.
3) Dealt with a financial organization to get a loan processed all on my own – Sounds small, but trust me it was difficult.
4) Got my first smartphone – Am still in love with it.
5) Bought my wife a smartphone as well – Hope she is still in love with it. Or else I would have the same entry next year.
6) Learnt Poker.
7) Made some good new friends.
8) Watched some movies in theatre – Hardly go for movies – Highlight was MI4.
9) Went to Shirdi to fulfill an old promise.
10) Experienced the Delhi winter for a week.
11) Attended atleast 3 weddings - The amazing coincidence is the fact that all were equally boring. Some things don’t change.
12) Played Carrom after years. Brought back memories when my brother used to thrash me out. It wasn’t any different this time. Just that it was my wife sitting across the table.
13) Mentally thought of being physically fitter; hmmm still thinking about being fitter.
14) Filled a few forms and realized that my handwriting has gone from bad to worse – Blame the laptops.
15) My quantitative abilities seem to be weakened significantly. It took me 30 seconds to calculate 35*56 =1960, which would have otherwise be less than 10 seconds. Man I hate these systems. I have become a slave to them.
16) Watched Kalaripayattu (Form a martial art in southern India) for the first time.
I give up. This is all I could manage to pen down. God – Writing has become difficult.
Some questions linger unanswered still.
1) Still haven’t figured out whether Justin Bieber is guy or a girl.
2) How do hikes of vegetable prices stay ahead of Inflation rates always?
3) Will petrol prices reach hundred first or would Sachin (aka GOD) hit his next century?
4) Does GOD know when GOD would his century of centuries?
5) What would be the next attire of Lady Gaga? Let me guess – scuba gear with a crown on top…
6) Would Nostro’s predictions come true…
We have an entire year ahead of us to answer these questions. Feel free to drop in your questions too and lets do a recap later on how they fared.
There is something that is become clear to me. My ability to write blogs seems to be eroding as I am not able to use the right words to convey the message crisp and short. The last sentence had 29 words - speaks for itself. Blame it on my vaporization from the blogging world for almost half an year. And I also believed the writing and speaking are separate arts which do convolute at times. But what I am discovering is I am just writing my mind here rather presenting a thought in a manner that appeals better to the reader.
Ok – Let me give this a shot and see how long the list goes.
1) Had our first official school get together. IT WAS FUN.
2) Went for a expensive vacation for the first time. IT WAS FUN TOO.
3) Dealt with a financial organization to get a loan processed all on my own – Sounds small, but trust me it was difficult.
4) Got my first smartphone – Am still in love with it.
5) Bought my wife a smartphone as well – Hope she is still in love with it. Or else I would have the same entry next year.
6) Learnt Poker.
7) Made some good new friends.
8) Watched some movies in theatre – Hardly go for movies – Highlight was MI4.
9) Went to Shirdi to fulfill an old promise.
10) Experienced the Delhi winter for a week.
11) Attended atleast 3 weddings - The amazing coincidence is the fact that all were equally boring. Some things don’t change.
12) Played Carrom after years. Brought back memories when my brother used to thrash me out. It wasn’t any different this time. Just that it was my wife sitting across the table.
13) Mentally thought of being physically fitter; hmmm still thinking about being fitter.
14) Filled a few forms and realized that my handwriting has gone from bad to worse – Blame the laptops.
15) My quantitative abilities seem to be weakened significantly. It took me 30 seconds to calculate 35*56 =1960, which would have otherwise be less than 10 seconds. Man I hate these systems. I have become a slave to them.
16) Watched Kalaripayattu (Form a martial art in southern India) for the first time.
I give up. This is all I could manage to pen down. God – Writing has become difficult.
Some questions linger unanswered still.
1) Still haven’t figured out whether Justin Bieber is guy or a girl.
2) How do hikes of vegetable prices stay ahead of Inflation rates always?
3) Will petrol prices reach hundred first or would Sachin (aka GOD) hit his next century?
4) Does GOD know when GOD would his century of centuries?
5) What would be the next attire of Lady Gaga? Let me guess – scuba gear with a crown on top…
6) Would Nostro’s predictions come true…
We have an entire year ahead of us to answer these questions. Feel free to drop in your questions too and lets do a recap later on how they fared.
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